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06 June 2011 @ 12:33 am
Afterword (Hers)  
Title: Afterword (Hers)
Type: One-shot
Characters/ Pairing: Junhyung x You
Word Count: 1831 words



You walk alone, a bag of groceries in your hands. You are taking your time; it’s been so long since you’ve had any kind of leisurely walk. School keeps you from doing these kinds of things.

You stop by interesting displays on the windows of some shops. There’s one on a teddy bear shop showing teddies of all sizes and shapes. When was the last time I receive a teddy bear? You ask yourself as you go by the bear shop and into the front of another shop. This goes on and on until you reach electronics shop being flocked by teenage girls outside. You wonder about the commotion and curiously head over to look, only to see a couple of high-definition televisions screens.

You think about how odd it is that teenagers ogle at television screens but you just shrug and say to yourself how younger people get more advanced technology every year. You turn and are about to walk away from the television displays when you hear a girl scream a name so familiar, you can’t help but turn around.

There he is. He looks good, as far as anyone can tell. He’s smiling to his fans as if he’s not the least bit exhausted, but you know him. You know him better than the girls standing closest to him, you know him better than the people who see him perform live. You know him better than all the people who scream his name day by day. How beautiful those smiles are, you thought to yourself.

Biting your lip and gripping the paper bag tighter, you head back without another look at the television screen. Heavy footsteps, but slowly you dragged yourself away.

-

Your college friends drag you to the shopping centre; it is a free period. You tell them that it is better to spend the period in the library to study for your quiz latter that day, but they never listen. You reluctantly go with them rather than staying at the library alone – there is something very sad about sitting alone on a table for five in a library that is too quiet.

The other girls head for a boutique; you say that you are not in the mood to look at dresses, so you follow your other friends. Before you know it, they are headed for the one place you haven’t been into for the past months… the one place you have been deliberately avoiding for the past months.

What’s wrong? You shake your head at your friend’s question. No one really knew about you and him, and it is better for them to not know. Everything is in the past now, there is no reason to talk about it anymore. You smile at your friend’s worried face and slowly follow them inside.

The music blares inside the store and you dare not look anywhere. You keep your head straight ahead, slowly you are clenching your fist as your hear a familiar tune playing in the background. Please, please, please, you beg to yourself. Make this as painless as possible.

You head to where your friends are; they are listening to a sample CD. You smile at them and point that you are going to look at the other aisle; they nod back, telling you to go ahead.

Slowly, you leave the pop aisle and go to the international section where the shelves are filled with albums from other countries. You take a look at a few CDS and a couple more, slowly browsing through. As long as the albums remain English or Japanese, there really is no need to worry. That is when you hear it.

It must be their new song; you haven’t heard it before. You close your eyes and try to breathe slowly and heavily. When you open your eyes, the first thing you see is a store employee sticking a new poster of his group by the window. You hurriedly go outside the store premises, away from his voice, away from his face, away from everything that reminds you of him.

-

It’s a blissful Wednesday and you are off to your next class, your friends waiting outside the classroom, eager to the next building. Before you can even get your things, though, someone taps you on your shoulder. You look up; he is the cheery classmate who keeps bugging you for some reason. He seems friendly and your friends tell you that he is pretty cute, but you never really take notice.

He says hi, and asks you where your next class is. You tell him that it is the Arts Building and he nods and then gets your things for you. You quickly say no and take back your things. You know he is just being friendly but there is only one guy who has ever carried your things for you, and deep inside you do not want that to change.

Before you leave the classroom, your classmate stops you. This time, he looks serious. He clears his throat nervously. For some reason, you are afraid of what he is going to say to you.

Can we… go out sometime?

Your college friends are starting to worry about you. You haven’t been dating, and you just rejected what seems to them as “the cutest guy in your college”. You shake your head and tell them you are not ready to date anyone. Not yet. That is when they start getting curious.

One of your friends asks, is he really all that?

Another urges you to spill the beans on your past relationship. You do so, but you leave out who he is and what he does. No one needs to now he is a celebrity.

Your friends aren’t really sure how to console you about your breakup. Your logical friend asks you, aren’t you the one who broke it off with him?

Another plainly advises you to forget about him, and move on.

You look away from them. Painfully; is it that easy to forget and move on?

-

You are jotting some important notes down busily on your notebook from the presentation you are going through on your laptop. Then, a high school friend calls you and asks how you’ve been. You haven’t heard from her for a very long time, so you’re happy to hear from her. You talk about so many things; your conversation lasts a few hours. Then she innocently asks about you and him.

Silence.
We’ve broken up.

Hearing those words coming out of your mouth still sends a stinging sensation straight to your heart.

… Oh, I didn’t know. I really thought you guys were going to end up together… you know, holding each other’s hands and spend happy days forever.

Yeah. You really thought so, too.

-

It’s 10:45pm and you are still awake; you are watching a movie you rented the other day from the video store on the corner of the street. It is a romantic comedy that you have watched before but you cannot recall exactly when and who you watched it with. The guy in the movie belittles himself saying he is really ugly when in fact, he is not, and tries to avoid his once-blind-but-now-can-see girlfriend, who wants to see him more than anyone else.

…you laugh as the memory dawns you.

You watched the movie with him. You remember how seriously he related the movie in your relationship. He told you that he’s not exactly good-looking and you’re too beautiful for him, much like the main characters in the movie.

You stopped walking, put both your hands on his face and looked him straight in the eye. You told him that you aren’t blind, that you fell in love with a good-looking, talented young man who is going to blow everyone’s mind out when they see him rapping and popping on stage. You remember how you hugged him afterwards, how you whispered to his ear how important he is to your life and you love him for all he is and all that he isn’t.

You ‘re too caught up in your memories when your cellphone starts ringing.
You grab your cellphone and take a look; there is an alarm set.

Junhyung’s Birthday

You’ve forgotten – your cellphone is set to ring an hour before his birthday.

You walked into your bedroom; before you know it, you turn on the radio next to your bed and listen to him. You know he is on tonight’s Super Junior Kiss the Radio’s show because you overheard his fans talking about it in class earlier today. You know it is probably going to make things worse in the long run – you are supposed to try to forget him, after all. But you just can’t help it.

You hear one of the radio hosts, Eunhyuk’s voice; and his partner, Leeteuk’s voice as he introduced his band member, Yoseob and him. Then you hear his speaking voice once again, the static of the radio in the background, a sad reminder that his voice is for everyone to hear, a thousand listeners tuning in to this show.

Eunhyuk talks about his birthday and tells their listeners to call in to wish or give their blessings to the birthday boy.

A million reasons try to stop you from doing what you want, but your hands tell you differently. Like an involuntary reflex, you dial your phone.

As you hear his voice on your cellphone, it feels like everything is normal again. Like you haven’t broken up; the warmth even you cannot explain. You say hi, he says hi back. Leeteuk asks if you have any message for the birthday boy. You say yes and you hear the radio host tell you to proceed with your message.

Junhyung…

You don’t know if he recognizes your voice, but you go on with your message. There is so much that you need to tell him, words like I’m sorry, I miss you, let’s go back together, I made a mistake… there’s so much to be said, but only a few words to express on the radio.

Happy birthday, Junhyung. I wish you all the best.

… Thank you, he replies, his voice solemn, not a voice of a joyous birthday celebrant. That is when you know he knows it’s you.

I love you, Junhyung. You say on your cellphone.

… I love you too, he replies. He laughs and goes on to add how much he loves all his fans. You smile as you end the phone call. It’s enough to hear him say those words, even if it is not meant to be solely for you.

Then your phone vibrates. One new message, it says. You read the message… and slowly, a smile appears on your face. You carefully replace your phone atop the small table next to your bed as you’re reminded of that one short message meant only for you.


Wait for me. I love you.
From: Yong Junhyung

 
 
Listening: 불러보지만 - BEAST(비스트)
 
 
 
Charlenekilled_passion on June 5th, 2011 04:53 pm (UTC)
kyaaaaaa the ending n____n
ygjaesoonygjaesoon on June 5th, 2011 05:12 pm (UTC)